Sex and Diabetes
Thank goodness conversations about sex these days are far more open and honest than they were generations ago. That being said, problems in the bedroom are still not easy for most people to admit, let alone address and cope with in an effective and healthy way. Regardless, if you are among the more than 34 million Americans living with diabetes, you face a greater risk of experiencing sexual complications than individuals without diabetes.
Even doctors can feel rather uneasy about addressing this issue with newly diagnosed diabetes patients. Instead, they tend to focus on possible diabetes complications related to the eyes, cardiovascular health, kidney disease and other concerns. However, failing to adequately discuss the problem doesn’t change the fact that sex is a vital part of a healthy and loving relationship, and is not a diabetes topic we should shy away from, particularly when entering into an open dialogue can do so much good for so many people.
So, in this post we discuss sex and diabetes frankly and honestly.
The Libido and Diabetes
Both men and women who are living with diabetes can find themselves feeling a wane in their sex drives. This loss of libido can happen for a number of different reasons but, according to the American Diabetes Association (ADA), it is usually tied to poorly managed blood sugar. So, if you find your desire for sex a bit dulled, the first thing to examine is your blood sugar management program. If you’re experiencing frequent highs when you test your blood glucose, take the appropriate steps to get it under control. It very well may help bring back that zestful libido you and your partner are both missing. In other instances, a lack of libido can be caused by a person’s reaction to certain types of medication, often prescribed antidepressants, or it can be caused by low testosterone, a common condition among both men and women with diabetes.
If you’ve been diagnosed with diabetes and find yourself not as excited about sex as you once were, talk to your doctor and your partner about diabetes-related sexual issues.
Sexual Issues and Relationships
When a relationship stumbles sexually, it can often lead to difficulty communicating among partners. This, as you can imagine, only further complicates the situation.
Relationships can suffer tremendous blows when sexual issues and the feelings that arise from them are not discussed openly and addressed together. For example, it’s not uncommon for the person having the problem to feel entirely inadequate or ashamed, and it’s easy for that person’s partner to develop feelings of resentment or even of being undesirable.
The longer these feelings are ignored, the easier it becomes to avoid dealing with them altogether, which inevitably causes the relationship to suffer. It’s not always easy, but it is important to talk things out. It might also help to remember that roots of sexual issues related to diabetes are medical, and they can very often be overcome.
Erectile Dysfunction (ED) In Men
One of the primary sexual problems men with diabetes face is erectile dysfunction (ED), or the inability to get and maintain an erection. This can happen because poorly managed diabetes can cause damage to the vascular system, which reduces blood flow. When blood is unable to reach the penis, it prevents the ability to achieve an erection.
Nerve damage is another complication related to high blood glucose that can lead to ED. If the brain isn’t properly communicating with the nerves in the penis, it may fail to send enough blood supply during those moments of arousal, which, again, impairs the ability for a man to get an erection.
ED is a sensitive subject but there is plenty of help out there. If your blood sugar is out of control, start there. If getting it in check doesn’t work, there are mediations like Viagra and Cialis that are helping millions of men overcome erectile dysfunction. Of course, the first step is to talk to your diabetes physician. Be honest and you will likely find an option that works for you and your partner.
Vaginal Dryness in Women
Nerve damage related to diabetes can cause vaginal dryness, which according to the ADA is twice as common in women with diabetes as it is in those without diabetes. To the best of what we know now, neurovascular health is necessary for arousal in women. When the small nerves in the clitoris are not working properly it leads to sensation problems making it difficult for a woman to become physically aroused and naturally lubricated.
Women with diabetes are also more prone to vaginal infections and urinary tract infections, which can cause sex to become uncomfortable and even painful, contributing to a lack of desire.
The Inability to Achieve Orgasm
Occasionally, both men and women living with diabetes will find it difficult to reach orgasm. In men, this is most often due to neurovascular damage related to diabetes and the lack of sensation it can cause.
In women, the issue is a bit more complex. The ADA cites a study published in Obstetrics & Gynecology that shows women with diabetes are 80% more likely to report trouble reaching orgasm than women without diabetes. This may be due to a lack of blood flow to the clitoris, thereby reducing sensation, or it may be related to hormonal imbalances.
Issues with orgasming may also be directly related to medications, such as antidepressants. If you’re on medication and having trouble climaxing, it’s likely one of the first things your doctor will consider.
5 Tips for Better Sex
Most sexual issues stem from poor diabetes management. So test your blood sugar regularly to identify those highs and lows. Follow your doctor-prescribed treatment plan including insulin and other medications. Plus, try to maintain a healthy weight and get in adequate exercise. Proper diabetes care is one of the keys to a healthy sex life.
- Ask your doctor about a continuous glucose monitor
A CGM gives you instant and ongoing blood sugar readings throughout the day, which not only helps you keep levels under control, but it can also help you see blood sugar trends to plan intimacy around those ideal times.
- Prepare a Sex Kit
It should hold all the things you might need for great sex. This might include glucose tabs to regulate blood sugar, lubricant for vaginal dryness, Viagra or other prescribed ED medication, massage oils, sexual aids, whatever helps you and your partner have better sex. When you’re ready, the kit is ready.
- Talk it out
We’ve already talked about this but it’s worth a second mention. If you are experiencing sexual frustrations, don’t skirt the issue. Talk to each other. It’s the best and most intimate way of finding a solution and preserving your relationship.
- Let it go
Sexual challenges are stressful. But you have to pardon the pun, ride the ups and downs. There may be times when things don’t go exactly as you planned. If that happens look for other ways to give and receive pleasure. Or even approach the situation with a sense of humor. Who knows? Your partner just might find how you handle the situation pretty darn sexy.
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Good article. I specially like #3 – Prepare a sex kit. Keep the posts coming!